radio silence

Taking a little blogging break for awhile. Life seems both jam packed and restful these days. My free time is spent loving on our baby boy so other things, such as keeping up this blog, have gone by the wayside. Happy New Year to all and I'll return soon, hopefully with some fresh eyes and some fresh words.

xo.

sitting here

I'm sitting here at my dining room table. We've recently placed it by the sliding glass doors so I now enjoy throwing open the curtains every morning and letting the light in. I'm still in my pajamas, face unwashed, and breakfast dishes are by my elbow. The house is quiet. Baby boy is sleeping upstairs. (Little man, we get the biggest kick out of how like your mother you are. How you like to snooze until 9 a.m. and how difficult you find waking up to be.) The Christmas tree lights are on and I've got a candle burning. I'm about to get another cup of coffee. Ordinary things, ordinary morning. But what is so wonderful to me right now is how I'm feeling. Content.

Oh, contentment. You've been elusive for so long. But now here you are again. It's funny how you show up at the oddest times. When the facets of my life are a bit in shambles or sort of up in the air or just plain crazy. Strangely, you show up. And I take a deep breath, drop my shoulders, and say a little prayer of thanks.

I'm sitting here looking at the frozen outside, wearing wools socks, and waiting for a little boy to wake up so I can kiss his cheeks. And I'm content. How 'bout that?

life lately (in pictures)









two months / hangin' out with some fall flowers

In true new mommy fashion I'm a day late on this post. C is now a whoppin' two months old. Every day he gets a little bigger. Every day he is discovering new things. Seeing him change and develop before my eyes is amazing. And a little heart wrenching. Already we have a pile of baby clothes that no longer fit. Already it is all going too fast.

Baby C, your newfound smiles bring me the greatest joy. I laugh when I see you realize that you can grab your firefly toy and then proceed to punch the heck out of it. Nothing is sweeter than the sound of your little baby coos. I am obsessed with your little hands. You've recently started holding on to my shirt while you nurse and my mama heart almost can't handle it. I love you.

well this just blows my mind

I guess Jean Claude Van Damme still got it! Great ad.

a sleeping baby

 

A sleeping baby. One of the most peaceful sights to be seen. My child thinks naps during the day are for punks. But sometimes he gives a girl a break and takes a little snooze, which you think would mean peace of mind for me. However, it usually leads to some sort of internal dialogue that goes like this, "Should I eat? What do I have time to make? How long is he going to sleep? Do we even have food in the house? Crap, maybe I should shower instead. But wait, what if he wakes up while I'm in the shower? Will I hear him? How long do I have until he wakes up? Gosh, I really stink and should probably shower. But I'm so hungry. Maybe I'll just sit down and have a cup of coffee. It's been weeks since I've managed to drink an entire cup while it's hot. Dammit! I hear him, I think he just woke up. No, he settled back down. Argh I should probably pump while he's asleep. I hate pumping. Man, I'm really hungry. I really need a shower. Oh! Maybe I have time to throw a load of laundry in. Is he still sleeping? Is he breathing?! Oh ok he's fine. Screw it, I'm going to sit down and rest for a few minutes. Maybe I'll watch another episode of The Vampire Diaries. Shit, he just woke up. Hold on while I shove some pretzels in my mouth..."

Please tell me I'm not alone in this.

happy halloween!

Happy Halloween, ya'll! I've talked about my love for this holiday before. This year I was extra excited because I knew I'd have a little one to dress up. And, if I may say so myself, baby C's costume was a success. Even though he looks less than thrilled, I think he made one cute caterpillar. Yesterday, when I had yet to even start pulling it together, I was slightly cursing my snobbery about Halloween costumes. Handmade only around here, no store bought. My mother is responsible for this. She made our costumes every year, thus the snobbery. Somewhat similar to my Christmas tree snobbery. I take Halloween pretty seriously. And apparently so does my new neighborhood. These people commit! Houses were all decked out and the trick-or-treaters came out in droves. Everyone sits outside their doors, hanging out and chit chatting. We drastically underestimated how much candy we would need, but it was great. Our little Jack-o-Lantern family made me smile. I am so happy to be starting traditions with C. I suppose if I do my job right he'll also be a costume snob.

you can always go home

We spent this past weekend at my parents' place. Husband had a bike race on Saturday (1st place and a cash prize- woo hoo!) and my mom and I had a baby shower to attend. It was just easier to pack up baby C's stuff and head on over there. However, truth be told, I had to lay out all the baby stuff in a manner I usually save for packing for long vacations in order to ensure that I didn't forget anything. And I think my mom and dad thought we were moving in permanently when they took a look at the number of bags we stumbled in with. Crikey, if that was just two days worth of packing for a baby then I'm scared to see what a week's worth is like. I thought we were going to have to strap the baby to the roof of the car. This must be why people cave and buy minivans.

While visits to their apartment isn't like going to my childhood home - thinking about the sale of that house still makes me sad - there is something comforting about hanging out with good ol' mom and dad for the weekend. Maybe it is because when I am at my own home I feel like any precious down time should be spent doing something productive. Maybe it is because my parents' apartment is cozy while I feel like we haven't finished moving into our house even after 3 months. Maybe it is because my mom cooks us dinner. Or maybe it is because they have cable. Every time we go over there we get excited to watch TV. Sad, I know. Whatever it is, I like it. I sort of didn't want to leave yesterday. It didn't hurt that my mom was taking her role as grandma pretty seriously. I had all sorts of help with the baby. I actually showered and put makeup on two days in a row. A small miracle these days.

Weekends like this make me glad we moved here. My time with my grandparents was limited due to distance and their passing while I was still young, so it makes me happy that my mom and dad are a big part of C's life. Just a little something to be thankful for on a Monday.

one month / just chillin' with my pumpkin

Somehow a whole month has passed by. My baby boy is one month old today. I'd say so far so good. Yes, there have been a couple of meltdowns. Some him, some me. For the record, I'm pretty sure my meltdowns were worse. Sleep deprivation will do that to a person. Especially if that person is me. But nothing beats this. Having a baby and being a mama is the best hardest thing I've ever done.

I love you, baby C. You make your mama pretty darn happy.

hello, lover

found here

 

 

 

 

 

It's boot season (cue me singing It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year)

day by day

Tired, but happy. That's the name of the game around here. My days are so drastically different than they were just a few short weeks ago. My days are now measured in the number of diapers changed, hours slept, the time between feedings. I've come to realize is that I'm not going to do much during the day besides care for my little man. Some days come to an end and I realize I haven't showered. It's a rarity that I change out of sweatpants. The only reason my bathroom is clean is because my dad came over and cleaned it. And it's a banner day when I manage to eat all three meals.

But caring for my son is a big thing. A big, wonderful thing. The other day he looked me in the eye for the first time and all the tired seemed to fall away.


P.S. This picture is what we call baby C's E.T. look

happy, happy fall

I decided that we needed to usher in fall this weekend even if the temperature felt more like summer. Plus, I desperately needed to get out of the house and join the land of the living. So off to Linvilla Orchards we went. Pumpkins and apples galore! I even managed to snag an apple cider donut which made me a happy camper. C slept the whole time - kind of a miracle, really - so there were no meltdowns, making our first real family outing a success (I'm not counting the trip out for diapers the other night).

Happy fall, ya'll.

sometimes this happens...

But I still think he is the most precious little guy.

Sleep is minimal (and so are showers) here in my world, but my baby brings me joy and on a good day I think I can get the hang of this mommy thing. Here's to taking it a day at a time.

sept. 22

September 22 is a day that forever changed my life. It's the day we welcomed baby C into this world. Words fail to describe the experience so I'm not even going to try. All I can say is that my heart is fuller and I have more love in my life than I ever thought possible.

We love you, little man. You are amazing. P.S. Thanks for not beating us up too much during your first week.

a little update / yes, i'm still pregnant

I'm still pregnant.

I guess this baby is nice and cozy in there. I tried to shake him/her up by putting an insane amount of red pepper flakes in our dinner last night. Reenie, you would have died. All I succeeded in doing was pissing this baby off. I had to deal with crazy gymnastics for a good hour or so while trying to fall asleep.

I've been getting a lot of questions lately. So here goes. This is all I know.

Baby will be born sometime between right now and next Friday. It will be a human. Caucasian. If not, then I have some serious explaining to do, don't I? LennyKravitzILoveYou. Either a boy or girl. We do not have names picked out. C'mon, did you think we would? We have a running list. Frankly, even if we did have names picked out we wouldn't be telling anyone. As an aside, whenever I ask husband about names he responds that we will name the baby, "Jerome". This is regardless if baby is a boy or girl. Not sure what to do with that.

Alright, my loved ones. If it seems like I am ignoring you a bit this week, well, I am. And I'm about to ignore you even more. While I do very much appreciate all of you who have checked in, husband and I are going to take these next days (week?) to focus on us and prepare (ha, ha) for the little one about to come into our lives. I'm signing off until this baby is born. Unless you paid my college tuition or had college tuition paid by the same people as me then you won't be hearing from me in any format. You can try to bug husband, but under normal circumstances he only answers texts, emails and messages via the Facebook about 30% of the time. So good luck with that.

See you on the flip side. xoxo.

emails from mom

Some people receive emails from their mom about coming over for pot roast on Sunday or discussing what Aunt Betty is up to. I receive emails entitled "celebrity update" and they contain sentences such as these:

Liam and Miley split. Thank goodness. I kept telling him she's trashy and he could do much better. 

 

And have you ever seen a photo of Tom Ford? Wow. He's smokin'. And gay. Oh well.

Mom, why "oh well"? And since when is "smokin'" part of your vernacular?

hey, you in there. time's up.

Hey. The eviction notice is coming soon, little ornery baby. I've determined that I'm never going to feel completely ready for your arrival so you might as well come out. Plus, I'm afraid I'm going to topple over if my belly gets any bigger. So, it's time to turn the right way (enough of this breech nonsense) and pick your birthday. Ok?

pregnancy friends

While pregnancy is a wonderful, wonderful experience there are moments when it is hard. Make that damn hard. Just the act of putting on my shoes has almost done me in once or twice. The belly sure can get in the way. And I most definitely got stuck on the couch the other night. Every pregnant lady has her own life savers. The things that make getting through the day a little easier. I'd like to give a shout out to:

• Trips to The Main Freeze (fondly referred to by husband and me as The Main Squeeze) in Lansdale. Soft serve ice cream to the rescue.
• Polar brand seltzer water. You're not wine, but you'll do.
• The Walking Dead. I've never enjoyed zombie guts so much. I find myself strangely attracted to Daryl the redneck. Is there something wrong with me? There's something wrong with me, isn't there? Can I blame it on the pregnancy hormones? Oh, and we're only just starting season 3. Please don't tell me he bites the dust.
• Smoothies from Red Mango. I think I went every day for 2 weeks straight before I had an intervention for myself.
• Maxi dresses. Thank you for hiding my cankles.
• Husband's foot rubs. Honey, thank you for never mentioning my fat feet. I love you. 

hello, lover

from here

'bout ready

Happy September! Where did the summer go? Husband woke me up on Sunday and said, "This month is our baby's birthday month!" It is t-minus 9 days until this baby's due date. Which really means that he or she could decide that any day now would be a good day for a birthday. Cue me mildly freaking out. I'm beginning to consider the idea of wearing a diaper to work every day for fear of my water breaking while I'm in the office.

Husband and I are in the midst of trying to get all the last minute baby things done, as well as squeeze in some quality time together. We had a date at Distrito this weekend-- we called it "the last supper" - and even made it to a movie on rainy Labor Day. (Two thumbs up for The Butler and Oprah's performance. Obviously, watching Lenny Kravitz was my favorite part. Obviously.)

Hope everyone's September is off to a great start. I'll be spending the upcoming days trying to convince this baby to make an appearance at a convenient time for mom and dad. Think it will work?